Dear Mr Prime Minister,

I am 30 years old, fat, educated and I want my own state. To achieve this objective I have decided to proceed on a fast immediately... after my next pizza, that is. (Considering my body mass index and fondness for trans fats, I have deemed this the most apt way to protest.)

I now intend to break bread only after my 2-bedroom flat in Noida is declared a state. The state will be known as Snobbish Pradesh and its capital will be Snootynagar -- which is what I will name my living room. The official language will be heavily accented English spoken with a lisp.

I have decided to go in for this drastic move after discrimination against me based on my language, appearance, superior intellect and personal hygiene. I request you to consider my case vis-a-vis Mr Rao of erstwhile Andhra Pradesh.

My state abounds in man-made and (cow-made) resources, including manure from my potted plants and state-of-the-art sanitary fittings. I am also extending an open invitation to all fellow snobs. Make yourself at home, provided you speak the language. (Else my partymen will thrash you and prevent you from giving any railway exams). I intend to stand for CM and am confident that the residents -- my wife, my dog and the affectionate house mosquitoes -- will cast their vote in my favour.

Mr Prime Minster, I appeal to you to consider my case at the earliest. After Telangana, Snobbish Pradesh would become India's 30th state (if Gorkhaland, Bundelkhand, Harit Pradesh etc don't beat me to it). Thirty is such a nice, round number, don't you think? Since you are handing states around, why not add one more?

While we are at it, let me bring to your notice that my pan-wala, my dhobi and a rather irritable bull who sleeps on the middle of a neighbouring road, all want their own states. They all allege discrimination and are all threatening to go on fast.

I appeal to you sir, let's break up this country at the earliest. Divide and rule is the new cool. Words like unity and national integration have slipped into obsolescence. Why learn from the West. We don't care about Germany uniting or half of Europe becoming European Union. After all we are the smartest race in the world.

Let's have a new slogan: Be Indian, break India.

lat but not the least:-i hv not written this but it's such a nice comment that could not cntrl myself to post it here.